The Things We Do for Halo

  I’ve taken notice of the release of the last four Halo games. Not because I particularly care for the game, but because I’ve cared for Mike for at least that long and if something matters to him, it matters to me. That’s how good relationships work, I think. Anyway, with PAX Prime just around the corner, I’ve been thinking about the events that I’ve gone to where Halo was a large factor or sometimes even the reason we’re there.

  Sometimes there are very special events that preclude game launches. PAX Prime will most likely be one of them. Another such event that we participated in was the ODST Truck Firefight matches. We drove an hour and a half (I might be exaggerating) to get to Hillsboro, Oregon’s Game Stop store to see this truck:
Inside the truck has are, I think, ten XBOX 360 consoles and LCD TV’s. They’ve got it set up for a good gaming experience, as long as you don’t mind the mixed up sounds. So, we stood in line and climbed inside and yes, I played a round of Firefight (because they handed me a controller and told me to sit down). I killed three jackals and two grunts. I only died twice. It was one of my best games because I stayed positive. I know. We also scored a really sweet license plate frame. It says: My Other Car is a Warthog.

  I realize that Halo, and Microsoft, are pretty much bff’s at this point so I wasn’t surprised at all to see a Microsoft Games booth at this years Emerald City Comicon. And low and behold, there was Halo. Mike was excited to get the chance to play the new maps. Oh yes, we played Halo at Comicon. They were showing off their new maps, the Defiant Map pack. I played for a few minutes but only because they needed a fourth person for that station. I quickly handed the controller to the first envious little kid I saw watching me. But, with Comicon, comes great costumes and neat people and TONS of Halo fans. There were a lot of the people that Mike knows from the Halo Waypoint there as well. It was really neat to put faces to names. We also met Grif and his super hot wife Gryffin!

  Any fan of video games knows that the really big games get to have midnight release parties. Sometimes the semi-big games get release parties. Some stores just have one every Monday night for S’s & G’s or because they’re always open. I’ve been to the release parties for Halo 3, Halo Wars and ODST. I didn’t go to the Reach release. I don’t know why. The midnight release party goes like this in our town: people begin gathering in front of the game store at about 10 PM. People of all ages gather. My particular favorite are the parents of the teenagers that stand in the line and watch as their sons and daughters mingle with the other teenagers. Sometimes the store’s employees will come out and give away swag or just provide general entertainment. Eventually, the store opens, the people get their game, and everyone goes home happy. We’re usually home by 12:30 on these types of nights. Perfect time for me to go to bed while Mike spends the next 24-36 hours breaking in his new game.

  So, there are many more things to do with Halo than just play the game. There’s an entire social scene that revolves around it. I’m pretty excited for PAX. Maybe we’ll get to meet more cool and interesting people.

Why I Love Grunts

  Grunts are basically the minions of the Covenant race; they’re purpose is to die. There’s an entire game type named in their honor – Gruntpocolypse. They are also the cutest of all the Halo creatures. Not even the Moa can surpass the Grunt in cuteness.

  I think they’re about five feet tall and almost as wide. They wear masks and armor all the time. It seems to me that they throw themselves into harms way; they’re not that smart. Many times, I’ve seen them running at the players with grenades ready to explode.

  They’re adorable though. Why? Let’s start with the cute little popping sound their heads make when they’re hit. It sounds like a single kernel of popcorn popping, which is about what their brain would amount to. There’s a skull, I think it’s called Birthday Party, that will make a celebration cheering sound (the same one from Viva Piñata, in fact) when they’re shot in the head. It’s fun.

   Did I mention that they’re short, squatty little creatures? They’re movements are all stiff but they can aim their weapons without much effort. I love it when a whole group of them are together and Mike drives a Banshee or Warthog towards them. The way they scatter, the way they move as their running, they look like Ewok’s with arthritis*. Damn that’s cute.

  They have their own language too, although I’m pretty sure they speak whatever English they’ve picked up from the Spartans also. There’s been more than one occasion that I swear I’ve heard them say “oh shit” or call Mike “asshole” before he kills them. And their little voices are so croaky that it sounds silly. They’re like frog voices, if frogs had voices, blabbering gibberish and potty mouthing. Too cute.

  So Grunts, although a nuisance, and basically shunned from all societies, are adorable creatures. Their reckless behavior and poor genetic makeup makes them perfect candidates for the cutest species in the Halo Universe. What’s your favorite creature?

A Moa tries to outrun Mike in a Warthog

 *I know arthritis is a serious condition. I also know that neither Ewoks or Grunts are real creatures, therefore they could not suffer from arthritis. I apologize for any offense I may have caused.

How Grifball Works

  Grifball is an evolved version of football and Russian Roulette. Eight Spartans meet in an big room. They are separated into two teams of four. One “ball” (it’s really a bomb) sits in the center of the room. When the announcer makes the call, all the players rush the ball and try to get possession of it. This person become Grif. Grif is now responsible for getting the ball to the opposite side of the room and placing it on the plant. Once the ball is placed on the plant, it explodes and kills Grif and anyone else near by. The round ends when the bomb explodes and a point is scored. Usually, the best 2 of 3 will win, or 3 of 5. It’s a simple concept.
 

  But like any game, there are obstacles, and reasons that the game is challenging. If Grifball was as simple as running across a room, setting down a ball and watching an explosion, there’d be no sport in it. It makes sense that there would be people trying to stop Grif from scoring points for his team. So, we have the reasons why Grifball doesn’t work.

  Being Grif means that every player in the game is interested in killing you and taking the ball. When the ball is not in anyone’s possession, every player is interested in killing you to keep you away from the ball. This is how the game is supposed to work. Keep in mind that the players are all in a large room. Also, their only weapons are close proximity weapons – the Gravity Hammer, Plasma Sword or beat down. This means that while all the other’s teams players are trying to kill you and your team, your team is also extremely close and can easily kill you or be killed by you. There’s no option to boot for betrayals in Grifball because it is a fact of life in that game. Some players are better at not betraying than others. Some players do it intentionally.



  Aside from the likelihood of betrayal, kills in Grifball mean nothing, yet they’re the only way to get the ball most of the time. And once you’ve got the ball, you’re going to die. It’s not good being Grif. Grifball is a team sport and in order for the team to be successful, the team must work together. A lot of the matches I’ve seen have involved a “random” or a player that’s not friends or associated with the other players on the team. This person usually doesn’t play as part of the team and it causes suffering for the other players. I think Grifball would be better if the players made friends real quick in the lobby, set a plan for how the game should go, then go play, the whole experience would be better for everyone. But that’s just my happy rainbows viewpoint. Whatever.

  Grifball is fun. The players wouldn’t play it if it wasn’t. It’s not for everyone, and it’s not for improving k/d, but it’s a good time when it’s played properly. Besides, what’s more fun than bouncing around smacking hammers against the ground with their satisfying shocking thud.

The Sounds of Halo

 I was sitting on the couch one night, trying to be still in our warm apartment, and Mike was playing his nightly Halo. He had his surround sound headset on and was heavily involved in the game, but he left he sound on the television on as well so I could hear the game. Usually I'm able to block the sounds out because I've heard it so many times before. That night I listened. There are so many sounds in Halo. I thought I'd take a moment to describe them, from my "outsider" perspective.

  The Musical Score: Wow. This is some nice music. It's powerful and woeful, calming and exciting. Chanting monks and rising Manheim Steamroller type guitar riffs meet up with classical instruments. The violin piece is beautiful. The sounds are an excellent introduction to this epic adventure. Any fan would agree.

  The Weapons: There are at least 5 different sounds that the guns make when Mike shoots them. The needler makes a very distinct sound like shards of glass zipping through the air. Anything with a laser, when used properly, makes a long wining sound before it fires. Shotguns sound like shotguns everywhere. The Sniper Rifle makes it's "pikow" perfectly every time. And I really like rockets and the way they hiss as they pass. There are a variety of grenades, stickies are my favorite, but I don't really know any sound other than the explosion they make. And their explosions sound the same to me. I'll make sure to listen closely for a variation and make an edit later if needed.

  The Creatures: There are a variety of creatures in the Halo universe. The Hunters growl and mumble. Brutes do a different type of growl and chatter in their own language. Grunts are my favorite. They have their own language too, they sound like cracked out five year olds sometimes. When they get shot in the head they explode into a celebration of cheers with confetti. There's also a faint popping noise which I didn't hear at first but now that I hear it, it makes the Grunts even more special to me. They remind me of balloons.

  The Vehicles: I'm not so good at telling the difference in vehicles. Sometimes, the only way I know they're Covenant vehicles is because they're purple. But there are a few sounds I recognize. The Wraith makes its hover craft, electricity sound. The Warthog sounds like a Jeep. And the stupid Scarab sounds like death. Also lasers. (I played Halo Wars today and lost to the Scarab and the little Scarabs that I can't remember the names of, quickly.)

  The Dying Sounds: Nothing makes the players and the creatures more noisy than the dying sounds. And most of them are pretty dramatic. Elites make a funny "Garr arrghrgghhh" or "Gruuurrrggh" while Spartans usually make some breathy sound and lady Spartans make a sad little girl sound. Sometimes I listen to the game just for the sounds, especially when there're Elites playing. 

  The Referee Guy: I don't know what he's really called and Mike was in the

middle of a round of Firefight as I was writing this, so I didn't find out. (It causes lag if I browse the internet, he doesn’t hear me when he's got his headphones on, you understand.) Anyway, he announces the game type and medals awarded during the game. He says things like, "Grifball" "Slayer" "Perfection" and "Game over."  I can judge the quality of a game by the medals that the guy is calling out. I know that if he says a lot of things like "Triple Kill" "Running Riot" "Extermination" or "Untouchable" the game is going well. If it's just a bunch of "Double kill" and "Killjoy" it's not such an awesome game. For me, the one time I got a double kill, it was the best game ever.

 The Firefight Voices: These are fun. I don't think I've heard all of them, but I recognize Master Chief, Auntie Dot, Cortana, Sargent Johnson and Noble 6. These voices tell you things about the status of your soldier and the surrounding enemy. For example, Auntie Dot says something like, "Your vital signs indicate that you are dead." It's hilarious. (Not the dying part, the fact that she breaks it down like that.) I also like it when Noble 6 gets excited about killing a whole lot of grunts.

  The Players: There are a variety of words that people don't use in polite society. A game of Halo Reach online is generally not considered polite society. In fact, the only time that Mike watches his language is if he is aware that there is a child in the game with them, or in the room with him. The rest of the time, the potty mouthing flows freely. Not to say that I mind, I'm a potty mouth myself, it's just one of the sounds. And all of the players talk this way. They even come up with creative and crafty names for each other, new phrases and insults and new ways to get a rise out of each other. It's all part of the fun.

  So Halo, as pretty as it is, is also sometimes fun to listen to. I particularly like the dying sounds and the noises that the creatures make and the referee cheering my honey on. When you listen, what do you hear?

Why I Don't Play Halo

  You may be asking yourself why I haven't joined in with the Halo fun instead of becoming a Halo widow. It's not because I don't like the game; honestly I think it's a visual masterpiece and the gameplay itself is often entertaining to watch. My resistance to playing Halo also has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a girl. I can think of a few ladies that would deny any knowledge of me if I so much as hinted that girls shouldn't or don't play Halo. The truth is I don't play Halo unless I'm handed a controller and plopped in front of a TV screen but I have my reasons.

  There are 3 reasons I don't play Halo.

• I'm a fidgety, twitchy, spaz most of the time. This means that when I try to look slightly to my left, I move my Spartans head all the way around. Or, I end up staring at the sky or ground, stuck in a corner because I turned to hard to the right.  Too often I resort to "pray and spray" because I have no idea what I'm shooting at. And I'm highly likely to betray you. I once killed the nice friend of Mike's repeatedly when he came into our game to save me from the second reason I don't play Halo.

• It's not his fault that I'm a spaz and can't control my Spartan. But playing Halo with Mike is like playing hide and go seek for a really long time. Here's how it goes - Mike sets up a game of Slayer, just him and I, where I get to practice trying to aim and shoot at him. (It's really that pitiful.) I miss a bunch of shots then eventually manage to take down his armor. Then, he kills me while I try to get my cross hairs to stay red long enough to shoot at him again. He's not a bully, he's just a good player and I'm an opponent regardless of who I am. It's the same way he plays when he games against his other friends. This being the case, I die a lot. Every time I die, I respawn somewhere else and I'm lost because of the first person point of view. I start running around, sometimes off the edge of something. Most of the time Mike finds me, kills me and the process starts over again. I don't know about you, but there's only so many times I can die before I start to get tired of watching my corpse while I respawn. Online gaming is out of the question because of my inability to aim and shoot before getting killed. Firefight, on the other hand, is pretty fun. I know what I'm supposed to kill and I'm not the only thing for Mike to kill. Also, the "pray and spray" technique works pretty well as long as there's no one else around.
• The Halo Universe is beautiful. I'd much rather look at it and listen to it than anything. And the Grunts are adorable. I tried to play the Halo 3 campaign to get better at shooting, even bought my own copy for the occasion, but got too caught up in the world. (And sometimes too lost.)

 
  It's not for lack of trying, Lord knows I have, but Halo is just not my game. I did play Halo Wars (the RPG) and have been known to run through a few rounds of skirmish, but again, never online because I'm too quickly pwned.

  On the rare occasion that I do play, I'm quick to hand off the controller to the next anxious gamer that I know will enjoy it. It always makes them happy, and I can get back to watching it.

 

In the Beginning...

  The XBOX360 first came into my life in April 2006 when good fortune gave my boyfriend Mike and I the extra money to buy one. Of course, when you have the console, you’ve got to get some games for it. If you recall, some of the original XBOX games were compatible with the new version of the console. Plus, they were slightly less expensive than 360 games, so we picked a couple. Halo Combat Evolved was among them. My boyfriend had already played through this game while he was deployed, but he enjoyed it and like I said, we needed a game. We picked up Halo 2 at the same time and Mike played it through.

  Halo 2 introduced online multi-player options which meant that Mike could now gather with a bunch of friends or strangers and play Slayer, where one team battles the other to get the most kills, and Objective like capture the flag, king of the hill and oddball. It was great. Needless to say, Mike really liked playing Halo 2 online with his friends.

  Eventually we picked up Crackdown, a fun open world game made by Bungie, which included a beta for Halo 3. Once the beta launched, Mike was hooked. He spent nearly every available moment playing online games. It was a limited engagement and would only be around for a few weeks, so he had to get as much time in as possible. When the beta was gone, Mike picked up Halo 2 to fill the three months before Halo 3 launched.

  On September 17^th 2007, the XBOX360 suffered what is called the Red Ring of Death. Yes, just 8 days before the launch of the much anticipated Halo 3, with the day off of work already scheduled and plans to attend the midnight release in progress, our XBOX was dead. Luckily it was still covered under warranty because Microsoft said “That red ring is happening too often and we’re going to fix it.” But it would take 6-8 weeks to repair it. This wasn’t going to work at all. So, that very night he took the money that we had available (it seemed unlikely that we’d have enough but somehow we did) and went to buy another XBOX360. It was close to midnight and there was no choice but Walmart. They only had the elite edition available. “Shucks,” Mike said although I’m sure he was thinking “Woohoo!” (I’ll admit, the black XBOX is sexy. The new one, even sexier.)

  On September 24^th, 2007 Mike and I gathered at the store closest to our work into the most disorganized and uncomfortable “release party” I’ve ever attended. Finally, Halo 3 would make its way back to our living room. We took the game home and Mike began the mission, taking in the sights and sounds while I slept the night away.

  Mike’s sciatic nerve was not prepared for the amount of sitting he would do.

  And so, I became a Halo widow. Lucky for me, I’m good at entertaining myself and I’ve got great fodder for a blog series. There’re many Halo widow stories to tell.